Questions To Ask When You Think You Are Falling In Love

These days, people fall in love for several reasons. Some people don't even know what falling in love or being in love is. The term has been abused, the elements have been misunderstood and some don’t even want to hear that phrase because of their experiences with those who once profess some love.

That happens a lot. If someone who

professes heaven and earth about loving you alone and no other person, and then finally disappoints you in a monumental way, tendency is that you wouldn't want to believe there is true love anywhere.

But you see, your experience cannot invalidate that which exists. It is actually possible to love one person the right way and appropriately. You should never ever allow a past negative experience to stop you from moving into God’s plan for your life. Get healed from past wounds and move on into your destiny! The reality is that most people you admire today have been wounded one way or other in the past, but they never allowed their lives to stop. Some can still actually show you the scars!

I will be taking you through some questions that can guide you, so that you can be sure you are on the right path and not on some sentimental, emotive and infatuated journey that will end nowhere. These questions are also good for matured singles to check yourself you are not being desperate or settling down with just anybody because of age.

1. Does this person have a relationship with God?
The first thing to sincerely consider is whether this guy or lady you are falling for has a relationship with God. Everybody who goes to church today claims to be born again, but does this person really have a relationship withGod?

How will you know? It will show in his actions, words, and decisions. By the fruits you will know. Ask him or her questions. Don't fall in love with a stranger, or that would be a strange relationship. You only fall in love with someone you know!

Daughters of Zion, wake up and be alive! Stop falling in love as if you cannot help it. Be deliberate. Be in control of your emotions. On your first outing with a person, he is already talking about very trap? Already touching you anyhow? Then you have every reason to doubt his relationship with God.

2. Are we going in the same direction?
The next thing is to ask is, are we going in the same direction? You see, you cannot marry everybody!

You cannot work with two different maps or compasses. Your marital navigation system must be aligned, otherwise, there would be a combination of marital and destiny accident! That will never be your portion!

Not everybody can fit into being your wife or husband! Everybody is peculiar and unique, so is the spouse that God has prepared for you!

There is a pastor’s wife and there is a business man’s wife! The day a pastor marries a business man’s wife, there will be serious trouble. Church money will be used for business! The man will want to preach and he will just go like, “Let’s open our Bible to Genesis Twenty-five Naira, verse 30 Kobo! Oh Sorry, Chapter 25, verse 30!” The wife has confused him. And you see, she is not devilish in any way, it is just that she is created for a business man!

There is a vulcaniser’s wife. There is a career woman’s husband. There is a business woman’s husband. There is a Nollywood actress’ husband! There is a lecturer’s wife. There is a music artist’s wife. There is somebody who is meant to perfectly complement your assignment! There is a Pilot’s wife. She has the grace to stay for days without seeing her husband and she wouldn't crack. If you are the type that wants to see your husband every day and every minute, then don’t go and marry a man’s whose job can take him away six months at a time!

3. Do I have the peace?
Now, let’s assume this person has a relationship with God and you are going in the same direction. He is a good man. She is a good lady. The next thing is do I have peace about this? You see, God leads His children by His peace in their hearts about a particular decision. It is always good to check your heart for God’s peace before you fall in love!

When you are in love, it is almost like you are in a drunken state or a sedated state! So, you need to establish these things before you allow some erring butterflies to dance around in your tummy!

Now, one of the greatest mishaps and disaster that can ever befall a person is to fall in love with the wrong person! It is a place should never pray to find yourself. Your esteem will be rubbished and trampled, you will be used and dumped and it will always lead to regrets!

4. Is it time?
The rule is 'do not be in a hurry.' For example, as a teenager, your body will tell you that you are ready for a relationship, your environment will tell you the same, your friends might be shouting the same. But the reality is that you are not ready. You are not emotionally ready.

When you do something outside of God's season for your life it usually doesn't end well. There's nothing as beautiful as cooperating with God's timing for your life. Your life will simply be in alignment with the forces of favour, mercy and grace.

Do you also know that rushing unnecessarily into a relationship can eventually bring delay? When you step into a relationship that is not God ordained, it wastes your time and sometimes resources and then eventually it doesn't work out. When it has happened two to three times or more, it begins to affect you psychologically. You begin to tell yourself that something could be wrong with you whereas nothing is really wrong.

It is like tasting the hot stew before it cools down. By the time the stew cools, the taste buds have been destroyed.

So, when are you ready?

You are ready for a relationship when you are just about two to three years away from marriage. For example, a seventeen-year-old girl who plans to marry at twenty-five and goes into a relationship is planning for an eight years of courtship, that is highly unadvisable!

What do you do then if you identify somebody as your spouse and marriage is still like ten years away? Be in friendship! Friendship is always advisable before any marital commitments.

5. Is this what I want for the rest of my life?
The next question to ask is if that is what you want for the rest of your life. Marriage is never a hundred-meter dash, it is a marathon. Whatever decision you are making maritally, realise that it is for the long haul. There is no reverse gear in marriage. Never ever walk down the aisle thinking you’ll walk up again. There is nothing like testing the waters in marriage.

Look at the man or woman in question very well. Is this what I want for the rest of my life? Ask yourself over and over again and if you can answer affirmatively, that would be okay.

You ask some people what they like in a certain person they are getting married to and they go like, “I don’t even know!” That is a too vague an answer for a decision that will not only affect you but will also affect the generation in your loins!

6. If you take money factor out, do I still love this person?
Finally, you need to identify your motive for marriage. If money is not a factor, will you still love this person? Take money out of the person’s life. Will you still love the person?

This is important because the mammon spirit is not supposed to be a determinant of your decision in marriage.

Most people have refused to cooperate with God’s plan for their lives because they looked at the person in question and they couldn't see any hope.

The reality is that we are all projects in the hands of God. That somebody has nothing in his or her account today does not mean it would be like that forever. The important thing is to follow God’s plan for your life. God knows better. God knows the rich guy today who is on his way to being broke and he knows the broke guy today who is on his way to being rich.

You see, the leading of God births an assurance in your heart that all is well.

I am amazed at how some girls in their bid to get rich have allowed their lives to be sentenced to three bedroom apartments, with a man who comes every other night, for the sole purpose of jeru trap and then drops some money! Such lifestyles will always end in regrets because that will never be God’s plan for your life. Never ever make a marital decision because of money, or some citizenship papers, make marital decisions because you are led. God will never go wrong, He sees the whole scenario, up until your last breath, so He knows the best person for you that will help your or complement you!

A word for married couples. Take a look at these elements and see if you have allowed any of them to slip along the way because of the pressures that come with marriage. Are you still going in the same direction? Do you still have passion for God? If any of these is missing, do not fear. Simply, talk about it and consult you pastor or mentor to counsel and guide you back into the right things! These checks are necessary from time to time.

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